Grandma Daniels 

My grandma passed away this morning between 3 and 4 am.  She is no longer in pain and fighting to breath.  She is with her mom and dad and brothers again.

Born to William and Ora Elmer in 1931

She married Bill Daniels they had 5 children.

She was a loving kind hearted woman who I love and miss very much.

Rest in peace grandma!

read her obituary 

Memorial service is Wednesday September 6, 2017.    It will be a full moon.

When she was young.
Susie her beloved dog. Passed away in 2016

Current events

Well I’ve been busy.  I’ve been working my butt off at work and being mom.  The boys just started back to school and they both have difficulty with school.  They would rather not go.  Lucius has behavior issues and Bryan has attendance issues.  So I’m doing my best to get them to have what they need to be successful in school.  

I’m also the only adult and all the responsibilities lay on my shoulders.  

Not just the kids but the home, bills, animals and plants.   Everything would fall apart if I were gone.   EVERYTHING.

So that means I have no time for bullshit.  I have no time for running around doing dumb shit to get into trouble.   Yet I spent the night in Yuma county jail last night.  For no reason at all other than the sheriff’s office was slow so they sent an officer to pick me up on a misdemeanor warrant for failing to appear to a court date that I actually DID show up to but my case had been postponed due to another case that had been extended.   

I worked my ass off all day yesterday to come home for 10 minutes.  The door bell rang and the sherriff took me in handcuffs to jail.   Where I was humiliated and treated like garbage.  

When I was leaving I was extremely upset and instructed my eldest son to call my father because he should know what to do and I told him to get me out TONIGHT. 

Not whenever they release me.  

So what does my dear father do?   

He uses my being away and in jail as an opportunity for him to take a break from his parents and get smashed drunk at my home in front of my children.   

Should I be upset?   

I am very upset with him.   I love him.  But he  made a bad decision and I am extremely disappointed in him.   

I’m trying to raise 2 troubled young men into honorable decend adults on my own and he goes and does this.   

What could possibly be going on in his head to be this way?   

Why is he SO selfish?  

Today was Lucius’ 12th birthday party and his baptism.  2 VERY major important events happening today and I almost missed them if I would have not been able to get ahold of a bail bondsman who would come to the house to get the money that I had left with Bryan to use for my bond.   The boys didn’t know what to do.   But that 64 year old man should have at least had the decency to get drunk somewhere else.  


Crazy dream

About a good friend of mine whch I don’t know who it was but in my dream she was a good friend. 

She was paying a man $12 dollars to have sex with her because she was lonely.   She would go to his hotel.   

It was strange….   Lol

Chickens and dogs

Two days ago I got 3 chickens and 1 rooster.  They were the cutest little bunch.   

I was so thrilled until this morning when my Min Pin went into their cage by digging under to get inside.    She killed 2 chickens and the rooster.   

I’m heartbroken because she also hurt the remaining chicken.   

I completely changed the location of the chicken cage and completely dog proofed it with chicken wire across the entire bottom of it and then covered over that with dirt.  So if she somehow manages to get thru the first fence of the garden she will still have to get threw the chicken fence.    

You can’t really see the chicken wire here but a little on the bottom of the picture.

So I’m worried about the remaining chicken because she was actually  hurt.   But she’s standing and eating so that’s a good sign and she’s drinking water so hopefully she makes it through the night.

   There she is all set up for the night

Who NEEDS Donations?

I have noticed that people often feel so utterly horrified at the thought of losing a baby/ child that when they come across someone who has recently lost a child they are more than willing to donate large sums of money to the parents for their grief.   

I am not saying it wouldn’t be the most horrific thing for me to bear losing a child….  

But the same people will over look a family struggling to make ends meet because the main bread winner has died.   Maybe they didn’t like him.  Good riddance why should I donate anything to him.   

Your not sending money to the dead child.   Your not sending money to the dead parent.   

Your sending your money to the people left behind who now have to figure out life without their loved one.   A young couple who has lost a child is broken in ways money can not help. The child didn’t bring money to the table while living so financially the family shouldn’t NEED large donations of cash.  

The family who lost the sole provider is broken in the very same ways and they NEED the donations.   They don’t beg.  They struggle and make do with what they have left.  

So the next time you come across a sad Gofundme of a child who has died remember that no money in the world will bring the child back and probably isn’t NEEDED as much.   

Why don’t you find a family who has lost a parent.     With kids who are still young.   That extra money WILL help that child even if the adult doesn’t spend it directly on the child.   Bills are bills. That pay check stoped when the parent died.   The bills still have to be paid.   

My garden

Since we now live in a house with a large back yard I have decided to put it to some use. 

  I planted a garden.

This is how it looked until I changed it to make it bigger yesterday.

Nothing too extensive.  So far I have 6 almost 7 pumpkin sprouts (I think one more is about to come up )   2 strawberry plants and a watermelon.   I have them fenced in with chicken wire and I planted them with garden soil from the store because the soil here is very sandy causing it to be hydrophobic so it’s hard to grow anything in it.  
 I’m also trying to get my grass to grow and would love my trees to be healthy and give more fruit.   They are young and face south so I painted their trunks white to protect them from bugs and sunburn.  I enjoy spending time outside on the back patio it’s so nice.   I also have some flowers that I’ve planted in pots on the front porch but a couple of them are dying.   😦   the ones pictured are still living 

My hands are hurting right now so I cant write as much as I want.  

Who has the right?

Some people have the idea in their heads that because someone has divorced someone else they therefore have no right to mourn when the ex spouse passes away.

I think this is absolutely ridiculous.  

Only a heartless jerk would be able to feel nothing.  Especially when children are in the picture.

I may have no right to feel the way that I do.  

But it isn’t going to change.