Chickens and dogs

Two days ago I got 3 chickens and 1 rooster.  They were the cutest little bunch.   

I was so thrilled until this morning when my Min Pin went into their cage by digging under to get inside.    She killed 2 chickens and the rooster.   

I’m heartbroken because she also hurt the remaining chicken.   

I completely changed the location of the chicken cage and completely dog proofed it with chicken wire across the entire bottom of it and then covered over that with dirt.  So if she somehow manages to get thru the first fence of the garden she will still have to get threw the chicken fence.    

You can’t really see the chicken wire here but a little on the bottom of the picture.

So I’m worried about the remaining chicken because she was actually  hurt.   But she’s standing and eating so that’s a good sign and she’s drinking water so hopefully she makes it through the night.

   There she is all set up for the night

Who NEEDS Donations?

I have noticed that people often feel so utterly horrified at the thought of losing a baby/ child that when they come across someone who has recently lost a child they are more than willing to donate large sums of money to the parents for their grief.   

I am not saying it wouldn’t be the most horrific thing for me to bear losing a child….  

But the same people will over look a family struggling to make ends meet because the main bread winner has died.   Maybe they didn’t like him.  Good riddance why should I donate anything to him.   

Your not sending money to the dead child.   Your not sending money to the dead parent.   

Your sending your money to the people left behind who now have to figure out life without their loved one.   A young couple who has lost a child is broken in ways money can not help. The child didn’t bring money to the table while living so financially the family shouldn’t NEED large donations of cash.  

The family who lost the sole provider is broken in the very same ways and they NEED the donations.   They don’t beg.  They struggle and make do with what they have left.  

So the next time you come across a sad Gofundme of a child who has died remember that no money in the world will bring the child back and probably isn’t NEEDED as much.   

Why don’t you find a family who has lost a parent.     With kids who are still young.   That extra money WILL help that child even if the adult doesn’t spend it directly on the child.   Bills are bills. That pay check stoped when the parent died.   The bills still have to be paid.   

My garden

Since we now live in a house with a large back yard I have decided to put it to some use. 

  I planted a garden.

This is how it looked until I changed it to make it bigger yesterday.

Nothing too extensive.  So far I have 6 almost 7 pumpkin sprouts (I think one more is about to come up )   2 strawberry plants and a watermelon.   I have them fenced in with chicken wire and I planted them with garden soil from the store because the soil here is very sandy causing it to be hydrophobic so it’s hard to grow anything in it.  
 I’m also trying to get my grass to grow and would love my trees to be healthy and give more fruit.   They are young and face south so I painted their trunks white to protect them from bugs and sunburn.  I enjoy spending time outside on the back patio it’s so nice.   I also have some flowers that I’ve planted in pots on the front porch but a couple of them are dying.   😦   the ones pictured are still living 

My hands are hurting right now so I cant write as much as I want.  

Who has the right?

Some people have the idea in their heads that because someone has divorced someone else they therefore have no right to mourn when the ex spouse passes away.

I think this is absolutely ridiculous.  

Only a heartless jerk would be able to feel nothing.  Especially when children are in the picture.

I may have no right to feel the way that I do.  

But it isn’t going to change.  


We keep going through time farther and farther away from being whole.

You have been gone now for 8 months.  I still think of you everyday.  I still feel you sitting beside me in the car.  You never left. 

We will be together again.  But not yet.  

Be patient my love.  Maybe when we meet again you will know just how much I really love you.  

I always did.  💜


Many sleepless nights we spent talking about life and death love and loss.   

He always had a calm sense of peace about it all.  His view on life and death was not “typical”. Death was interesting to him but not in an unnatural or creepy way.  

I remember I was always the one with all the questions.  I was always the one never satisfied.  

I don’t know why things had to turn out the way they did.